You spend plenty of time talking with your employees, right? You talk, talk, talk about everything under the sun. “How was your weekend? How was your kid’s birthday party? Did you watch that TV show?” You probably talk about personal matters in order to build a friendly rapport with them. But that approach bleeds into your management relationship, so when the subject matter turns to work, you tend to soft-pedal your authority. When you have a difficult task that you must press upon an employee, or, even worse, there is a problem that you must address with him or her, you suddenly shift gears and start talking seriously, urgently, and sometimes heatedly about the work. That’s when the employee ...

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