Chapter 19. Internet Videos

The Skim

Dead Bloody Simple: Vixy.net

Internet Videos

Q : What did we ever do before the emergence of YouTube, Hulu, and other Internet video sites?

A: Actual work. We did actual work. Lots of it. That's what we did before streaming video.

Honestly. Like you had to even ask! Look at the mighty Boulder Dam, one of the most incredible engineering projects in human history. Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, a tune described as "one of the highest achievements of man," a creative work so powerful and inspirational that it served as the hopeful anthem to the closure of an international conflict that claimed tens of millions of lives. Or the Great Pyramid at Giza, whose monumental form and seething mysteries has endured through five millennia.

Ask yourself: "Do you think the people who accomplished these great deeds spent any amount of time watching some kid from Encino attempt to play the Super Mario theme using the 12-foot electric arcs thrown off by an enormous Van de Graaff generator?"

Yes, I'm just as depressed about this as you are. But remember: All strength comes from knowledge.

Welp, we're stuck with this sad state of affairs. The good news is that the utter collapse of all civilization, though inevitable, won't really start becoming anuisance until our as-yet-unborn grandchildren turn 40. So for now, we can download some of the better videos and enjoy them on our iPhone and iPod ...

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