Invisible Influence: The Power to Persuade Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

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The Hidden Message

Each story you tell can have one hidden message that is potentially acceptable by the other person without conscious criticism.

If you want someone to know that you value loyalty or that you believe in God or someone found you to be smart, attractive, or a great lover, you want to pick one subtle message and stick with that message.

Avoid loading too much information into any one story. A good story maxes out at about four minutes in conversation when you’re with one person. You get to tell one of those about every half hour. With small groups, you have to make your stories tighter and more concise. With large groups, of say 50 or more, you can tell a longer story if it is emotion-filled or action-packed. In that situation you could stretch to perhaps six to seven minutes but never more.

You embed hidden messages by using the exact words that someone else used in reference to you.

“And then her boyfriend yelled at her and said, ‘what is he, a better lover than I am?’” Then she said, “It’s like he wrote the book.”

The quotes are positioned inside a story that could be about anything. The sentences have to comfortably fit the context, and they need to be real memories, or your nonconscious brain will betray you and tell the story differently each time, making the outcome you desire unpredictable.

Return the words that praise you to the lips of the people who originally spoke them. If you want them to know how bright you are, you will make sure the story you ...