Invisible Influence: The Power to Persuade Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

30

Let Them Direct the Traffic

Sometimes you need to influence someone in the presence of their regular source of influence, when that person may have been a contributor to their current failure. Here’s a neat way of taking care of the feelings and needs of both to be validated.

We’re at the pediatrician’s office. The doctor says:

“Okay, the chart shows Annie is currently 110 pounds, which at 10 years old, 4 feet and 4 inches gives us a BMI of 28.6. The concern here is that she’s prediabetic. We ran a test for blood sugar level and that came back at just over 100. It’s not terrible, but we want to tackle this before it gets more serious. So, what do you guys want to do as far as reducing those blood sugar levels?”

He grabs a pen and paper and writes down everything the parents say, repeating their answers as he takes notes.

“Stop her having snack after school, uh-huh, stop her having bedtime snack … Good. Keep going … Let’s get about 15 possible ideas and then we’ll pick the top three or four that are most likely to work quickly.… ”

After he takes all the parents’ suggestions he summarizes:

“Okay, we want her to be happy and feel rewarded when she gets home, so we’re not going to stop that snack after school, and the bedtime snack is probably still a good idea because when you’re a kid it’s pretty tough to be hungry and try and fall asleep. But look at this one, remove morning juice; right there that’s 14 grams of sugar. In fact, if you remove all juice and replace that with water, ...