11
When All Else Fails
Not all questions designed to cause change or motivate are phrased gently or delicately.
Dramatically blunt communication bypasses all arguments, objections, options, choices, or emotional processing and causes the other person to make a dramatic choice.
Examples:
“Kevin, I can’t afford life insurance.”
“Okay, so am I getting this straight? So you die and there’s your wife and kids and a year ago you said, ‘Gee I can’t afford $300!’ and they could have had $250,000 but you left them broke?”
“Kevin, I can’t afford fresh fruit and vegetables.”
“So it’s okay to sacrifice the health of your kids for whatever else you spent money on in the house? So there’s something more important than the health of your kids? That’s what I’m supposed to understand, right?”
The whole point of this type of conversation is that it is contentious. It breaks through and gets straight to the most valued dimension of the matter: helping the person clearly visualize where their focus should be placed.
The aim is highly compassionate. The aim is to have you experience what you need to with complete clarity so that you avoid a painful future and the deeper pain of regret.
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