Investing in Real Estate, 7th Edition

10

NEGOTIATE A WIN-WIN PURCHASE AGREEMENT

For ease of discussion, I will classify negotiating styles as (1) adversarial, (2) accommodating, or (3) win-win. Many lawyers (especially litigators) rely on the adversarial style. They make outrageous demands. Then to land you closer to their position, they push, pull, or threaten. Adversarial negotiators don't care whether their opponents (which is how they see the other party) end up satisfied. All they care about is winning for themselves.

Whereas the adversarial style relies on threats and power, accommodating negotiators cave in to requests and threats. They think, “What else could I do?” Or sometimes, “It wasn't worth the fight.” Accommodators feel powerless to create the negotiated result they desire. They feel a lack of money, credit, time, information, knowledge, or experience. They overestimate the strength and position of the other party. So, they substitute excuses for performance.

Accommodators detest and avoid conflict. They would rather lose face than stand their ground. When negotiating through a real estate agent (or other third party), accommodators shed responsibility. “Oh, just do whatever you think is best” or “Let's just agree and get the whole thing over” are typical responses that accommodators rely on to prematurely give up on realizing their hoped-for goal.

In contrast to the adversarial and accommodating approaches, think of “win-win” negotiation as imaginative, caring (and careful) assertiveness. Win-win negotiators ...