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I Win, You Win by Carl Lyons

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1Focus on Values and Interests, Not Positions

We’ve already described how, more often than not, people tend to approach negotiations with a position in mind. The negotiator can become ego identified with the position and shifting from this will be associated with giving something up, making concessions or losing face. Consider two women in a restaurant. They are arguing over whether the door should be open or closed. The waitress comes over and politely asks them both to explain their reasons. One wants the fresh air that would be provided by the door open, the other wants it closed to avoid the draught. The waitress thinks for a while and then opens a window at the back of the restaurant. This not only prevents a draught from reaching the diners ...

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