Chapter 10
Are You in Love or Captivity?

Shock of Capture

The first time you hear, and perhaps feel, the abuse of your spouse, that’s the shock of capture. How could you possibly stay rational? This is the emotional equivalent of having a hood thrown over your head and your arms and legs bound by cord in the middle of the night. You are the equivalent of the garage-band guitarist/soldier walking through the woods on patrol not expecting the ambush. Your mind has no mailbox to store the data of the overwhelming new experience.
The reasons for getting into a relationship vary according to our needs and desires, but one factor people have in common is that they don’t get in a relationship to fail. After the shock of capture, the brain scrambles ...

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