How to Become a Better Negotiator, Second Edition

Reflective Listening

There is one listening method that is easy to learn and apply, and that will make you a better listener and a better negotiator. It is called reflective listening. This form of listening is different from the way most of us are used to listening, so it may take some practice before you get good at it.

Reflective listening says to the person you’re listening to, “I understand what you’re saying and how you must feel.” It also allows you to check what you believe you heard against what was actually said. This can both build rapport and avoid misunderstandings.

For instance, a coworker angrily tells you that she is having a serious problem with the boss. You reply, “This problem really upsets you, doesn’t it?” Your comment ...