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How to Be a Complete and Utter Failure in Life, Work & Everything: 44 1/2 Steps to Lasting Underachievement

Book Description

Really want to know how to fail? Consistently? Massively? Irrevocably?

Steve McDermott’s spent years studying the world’s greatest failures: those extraordinary individuals who’ve spectacularly underachieved in every walk of life. They all use the exact same skills and strategies--and you can learn them, too. (Maybe you know some already!) In this quick, incredibly practical guide to failure, McDermott brings together dozens of state-of-the-art techniques guaranteed to help you crash, burn, and disappoint everyone in your life. In just minutes, discover how to fail at...

 

• Leadership                 • Relationships              • Personal growth          • Achieving happiness

• Teamwork                  • Planning                     • Goal-setting                • Careers

• Financial security        • First impressions        • And so much more!

DANGER: Do NOT attempt to reverse these techniques. If performed in the opposite fashion, they may cause spectacular success. The publisher and author will not be held responsible for wealth, happiness, or career achievements resulting from the use of these skills and strategies in reverse.

Table of Contents

  1. Copyright
    1. Dedication
  2. Preface
    1. How to get the most from this guide
      1. Interactivity
      2. Diagrams
      3. Political correctness
      4. Thinking style
  3. Introduction
  4. One. Don’t decide what you want. If you do decide what you want, don’t think about why you want it. And if you do decide why you want it, commit to believing you can’t have it
  5. Two. Don’t do things on purpose
  6. Three. Don’t stop working for a living
  7. Four. Don’t know what you value in life (and if you do, lose sight of it)
  8. Five. Don’t spend any of your time in the future
  9. Six. Don’t have any goals
  10. Seven. If you do have goals, don’t put them in writing, and if you do, don’t think too big
  11. Eight. Don’t plan your priorities
  12. Nine. Don’t involve other people
  13. Ten. Don’t have a mentor or be a mentor
  14. Eleven. Don’t get advice from people you’ve never met or who are dead
  15. Twelve. Don’t take action right now
  16. Thirteen. Don’t get feedback on your actions
  17. Fourteen. Don’t adjust
  18. Fifteen. Don’t get even more feedback, don’t be flexible . . . (you get the idea)
  19. Sixteen. Don’t practice continuous improvement
  20. Seventeen. Don’t wear a parachute
  21. Eighteen. Don’t change your beliefs
  22. Nineteen. Don’t stop having a deep fear of failure and of making a fool of yourself
  23. Twenty. Don’t take personal responsibility for your life and results
  24. Twenty-one. Don’t stop believing in luck
  25. Twenty-two. Don’t expand your comfort zone
  26. Twenty-three. Don’t use inside-out thinking
  27. Twenty-four. Don’t put things in before you try to take things out
  28. Twenty-five. Don’t control your moods
  29. Twenty-six. Don’t transform your language
  30. Twenty-seven. Don’t think about the first four minutes
  31. Twenty-eight. Don’t talk and think about what you want
  32. Twenty-nine. Don’t go to the movies
  33. Thirty. Don’t stop being an unthinking dog
    1. Permanence
    2. Pervasive
  34. Thirty-one. Don’t ask, “How do you do that?” Don’t act “as if.” And don’t be naïve
  35. Thirty-two. Don’t change the meaning of things
  36. Thirty-three. Don’t stop thinking only about money, money, money
  37. Thirty-four. Don’t have a good laugh
  38. Thirty-five. Don’t be creative or innovative
  39. Thirty-six. Don’t think of your own idea to go here
  40. Thirty-seven. Don’t stop always taking “no” for an answer
  41. Thirty-eight. Don’t be grateful
  42. Thirty-nine. Don’t commit to lifelong learning
  43. Forty. Don’t be a leader
  44. Forty-one. Don’t learn to communicate
  45. Forty-two. Don’t understand the secrets of great teams and great customer service
  46. Forty-three. Don’t develop winners and winning relationships
  47. Forty-four. Don’t step up. Don’t do extraordinary things
  48. Forty-four-and-a-half. Don’t stop doing everything by halves, that’s if you do anything at all
  49. Disclaimer
    1. Disclaimer to Step Seven
  50. Answers