introduction

marshall plympton (not his actual name, although I was tempted) is the all-too-real proprietor of an “eclectic American” restaurant near our vacation spot in the central Carolinas. Marshall’s eatery has forty-seven reviews on Yelp, twelve on Google, and thirteen on TripAdvisor. The majority of these reviews are actually pretty positive.

Marshall, however, isn’t satisfied with his good reviews and has no interest in learning from anything constructive in the mixed ones. Instead, he responds to even the smallest online slight with outrage. Outrageous outrage. Here’s one example of Marshall responding on Yelp to a very mild critique:

If any other bleepholes [except Marshall didn’t type “bleepholes”] like “Jjhamie319” are thinking of ...

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