Part Six Conclusion

Bronnie Ware worked for many years in palliative care. Her patients were those who had gone home to die. She was with them for the last 3 to 12 weeks of their lives. Based on her experiences she has distinguished the five most common regrets of the dying:1

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself instead of the life others expected from me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Among these top-five wishes of what people would have preferred to do differently in order to achieve a higher level of fulfillment and satisfaction on their deathbed, we don’t find “I wish I had made more money” or “I regret that I didn’t make the extra effort to become CEO.” Instead, deathbed regrets are about having lived (way) too far away from the authentic self as well as having underestimated the importance of relationships. Both affect happiness to the extent that people look back on their lives with regret. It is unlikely that during their lives they did not already sense these regrets, as their “inner voice” must have protested all the while. They, however, lacked the mental strength to live a life true to themselves, thus leaving them throughout their lives with a deep sense of unhappiness.

Based on our discussion of the psychological patterns with regard to wealthy upbringing and the wealthy life, it may not be surprising ...

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