Foolish Assumptions

As we gaze into our polycarbonate ball (crystal balls are breakable, and we can be clumsy), we see you as clearly as if you were sitting here with us in this gourmet food market in Durham, NC at 12:45 p.m. You have a barely noticeable scar just above your right elbow where you cut yourself against a pool wall when you were 11, and you are wearing a plaid watchband.

The foolish assumptions that informed our writing include the guess that the main market for your ads reads and speaks English. If not, no big deal: Just substitute Spanish or Russian or Azerbaijani for English as you read (although the reference to Azerbaijani muffins may confuse you).

We're also assuming that your AdWords goal is business-related, especially in the way we talk about the desired outcomes of your campaigns — that is, leads, sales, profits, and so on. If you're advertising on behalf of a nonprofit, you can easily substitute your own desired outcomes, including signatures on an online petition, additions to your mailing list, or attendance at an event. Your outcomes can be nonmeasurable as well, such as convincing website visitors to reduce their energy consumption, support a political candidate or position, eat healthier food, and so on.

We make several foolish assumptions about your level of computer savvy. We assume you can make your way around a website, including clicking, typing in web addresses, completing forms, and so on. We assume you have access to a working credit card (no, ...

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