Chapter 19
Approachability
Body language tells tales —long, accurate tales.
Standing with your arms crossed and a scowl on your face doesn't make you seem inviting. Ignoring people around you to only focus on the “important” people makes you seem snobby—and snobs are rarely liked, especially by other snobs.
Standing in a corner, moving quickly through a crowd, avoiding eye contact, turning your back to someone, looking others up and down, and acting judgmental are all conscious or subconscious ways to tell contacts to stay away.
To project an approachable image, keep an open stance with arms uncrossed and a smile on your face. For those who fidget and keep their arms crossed: to avoid this, try to keep one hand in your pocket, squeezing a Kleenex, or clasp your hands behind your back to keep open body language. It's not ideal, but it keeps you from being distracting. If you fidget with anything that makes noise, such as clicking a pen, please stop.
Look like you want to talk with others. Keep your eyes focused at eye level rather than looking to the ground, which is a surefire way to avoid engaging people. Slow down when you walk through a crowd to give people a chance to catch your attention.
Whenever possible, face the crowd rather than put your back to people. Obviously, in crowded areas, when you're in the middle of where everyone is mingling, you're bound to have your back to someone.
For the most part, meeting strangers is an intimidating experience, particularly for those ...
