Chapter 17
Eye Contact
Eyes are the window to the soul. If you truly want to connect with others, give them this subconscious opportunity to see right into you. A person who constantly avoids eye contact insinuates shiftiness, lack of interest, or low confidence.
Proper eye contact communicates that you are listening. Have you ever tried to talk with someone who is watching television? The TV watcher may hear what you are saying, but it's tough to believe he or she is really listening to you or caring about what you have to say.
Connect with someone by making and maintaining eye contact; not in a phony, stiff, hypnotic trance way, but in a genuine “I'm focused only on you right now” kind of way. The most effective way to snub someone is to avoid eye contact when he or she is trying to talk with you. When you fail to genuinely acknowledge people with solid eye contact, they will get the loud and clear message that you're not interested in talking with them. If that's not the message you want to send, then make eye contact.
A friend of mine quizzes his kids about people's eye color after they interact with them. It's a great way to teach kids—and adults—about making eye contact. When was the last time you noticed a casual contact's eye color?
When outside, if possible, avoid wearing dark or mirrored sunglasses, as they make it difficult for people to see your eyes.
Wandering eyes are the ultimate subliminal insult. Insincere politicians are notorious for this and so are people who ...
