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Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers: The People Skills You Need to Achieve Outstanding Results

Book Description

Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers introduces readers to the basic concepts of emotional intelligence and shows how to apply them to their project goals. Readers will learn how to:

  • Set the tone and direction for the project

  • Communicate more effectively

  • Improve listening skills

  • Create a positive work environment

  • Motivate, coach, and mentor team members

  • Productively handle stress, criticism, and blame

  • And more.

Complete with checklists and self-assessments, this handy guide enables project managers to apply these important skills to their projects right away.

Table of Contents

  1. Copyright
  2. Acknowledgments
  3. 1. An Introduction to Emotional Intelligence
    1. 1. My Growth in Emotional Intelligence
      1. A Dangerous Situation
      2. Emotional Mastery for Project Managers
      3. Project Management Is Competitive
      4. What Is Emotional Intelligence?
      5. Measuring Your Emotional Intelligence
      6. The Good News About Emotional Intelligence
      7. Applying Emotional Intelligence to Project Management
        1. 1. Develop Stakeholder Relationships That Support the Project’s Success
        2. 2. Anticipate and Avoid Emotional Breakdowns
        3. 3. Deal with Difficult Team Members and Manage Conflict
        4. 4. Leverage Emotional Information to Make Better Decisions
        5. 5. Communicate More Effectively
        6. 6. Create a Positive Work Environment and High Team Morale
        7. 7. Cast a Vision for Shared Project Objectives That Will Attract, Inspire, and Motivate the Project Team
      8. Emotional Intelligence Is Vital to Project Managers
    2. 2. A Brief Primer on Emotional Intelligence
      1. The Popularity of Emotional Intelligence
      2. Some Useful Definitions
        1. Emotions
        2. Emotional Intelligence
        3. Self-Awareness
        4. Self-Management
        5. Social Awareness
        6. Relationship Management
        7. Team Leadership
      3. How to Improve Your Understanding of Emotional Intelligence Concepts
        1. Magazines and Journals on Emotional Intelligence
        2. Books on Emotional Intelligence
        3. Take a Course
        4. Blogs and Web Sites Related to Emotional Intelligence
        5. Coaches and Mentors
        6. Assessments
      4. Learning About Emotional Intelligence Is Only the First Step
  4. 2. Project Management Begins with Self-Management
    1. 3. Self-Awareness
      1. Introduction to Self-Awareness
        1. Self-Awareness Is the Starting Point for Emotional Intelligence
      2. Emotional Self-Awareness
        1. Getting Physical with Our Feelings
        2. Write It Out
        3. Emotional Red Flags
          1. 1. Inappropriate Humor
          2. 2. Use of Sarcasm
          3. 3. Passive Aggressive Behavior
          4. 4. Playing the Victim
          5. 5. Hostility
        4. Emotional Self-Awareness Is Important
      3. Accurate Self-Assessment
      4. Self-Confidence
      5. Techniques to Improve Your Self-Awareness
        1. 1. Keep a Feelings Journal
        2. 2. Track Emotions with a Tally Sheet
        3. 3. Conduct a Physical Inventory
        4. 4. Checking Your Face in the Mirror
        5. 5. Use Paired Sharing
        6. 6. Backtrack
        7. 7. Use Quiet Time
    2. 4. Self-Management
      1. The Emotional Intelligence Model for Project Management
        1. Self-Awareness Precedes Self-Management
      2. Self-Control
        1. What Is Self-Control?
        2. Negative Feelings Can Cripple a Team
        3. Self-Control Is for All Emotions
        4. Self-Control Helps Us Avoid Emotional Breakdowns
          1. 1. Angry Tirades
          2. 2. Door Slamming
          3. 3. E-mail Letter Bomb
          4. 4. Withdrawal and Isolation
          5. 5. Holding Grudges and Getting Even
          6. 6. Criticizing
          7. 7. Sarcasm and Inappropriate Humor
          8. 8. Playing the Victim
        5. Emotional Breakdowns May Be Preceded by Emotional Triggers
        6. Moods and Attitudes of Others
          1. 1. Who Is It?
          2. 2. Why Is It?
          3. 3. Cut the Cord
          4. 4. Don’t Take It Personally
        7. Prethinking or Foreshadowing
          1. 1. Identify the Pattern
          2. 2. Interrupt the Foreshadowing with Logic
        8. Dwelling
          1. Become Aware
          2. Get Clear
          3. Recharge
          4. Break the Link
          5. Don’t Try NOT to Think About It
          6. Relax
          7. Tease Yourself
          8. Seek Professional Help
        9. Hot Words and Hot Buttons
          1. Give Yourself a Checkup
          2. Get a Second Opinion
          3. Go Beyond the Hot Button
        10. Criticism and Blame
          1. My Own Worst Enemy
          2. Look Ahead
          3. Check It Out
          4. The New Wheaties
          5. Could Be Just Them
          6. Doesn’t Change Anything
          7. Set a Mistake Quota
        11. Physical Environment
        12. Illness and Fatigue
        13. Reduce Your Vulnerability to Emotional Triggers
          1. Know Thyself
          2. Evaluate Your Physical Environment
          3. Take Care of Yourself and Stay Healthy
          4. Sharpen the Saw
          5. Avoid Long Work Weeks
          6. Get Support
        14. Stinking Thinking Can Cause Emotional Breakdowns
          1. 1. All or Nothing Thinking
          2. 2. Always and Never
          3. 3. Being Negative
          4. 4. Filling in the Blanks
          5. 5. Should Statements
          6. 6. Personalization and Blame
        15. Identifying Your Own Patterns of Stinking Thinking
          1. Journal
          2. Get Help from a Friend
          3. Seek Professional Help
        16. Good News About Emotional Breakdowns
      3. Techniques to Improve Our Self-Management
        1. A Three-Step Process for Self-Management
          1. Step 1—Identify the Feeling
          2. Step 2—Determine the Underlying Cause
          3. Step 3—Take Action to Get Clear
        2. The Do-Over
      4. Additional Techniques for Self-Control and Self-Management
        1. 1. Reduce Your Stress Level
        2. 2. Conduct an Inner Dialog of Self-Parenting
        3. 3. Talk It Out with Someone
        4. 4. Give Yourself a Time Out
        5. 5. Write a Letter or E-Mail You Will Not Send
        6. 6. Use Appropriate Humor
        7. 7. Take Care of Yourself
  5. 3. Building Project Stakeholder Relationships
    1. 5. Social Awareness
      1. An Introduction to Social Awareness
        1. What the Experts Say About Social Awareness
      2. Empathy
        1. 1. Self-Orientation
        2. 2. Results First
        3. 3. Tough Stuff
        4. 4. We Are Smarter Than Others
        5. Empathetic Listening
          1. 1. Let Others Speak
          2. 2. Maintain Eye Contact
          3. 3. Give the Speaker Your Full Attention
          4. 4. Playback and Summarize
          5. 5. Orient to Emotions
          6. 6. Try on Their Shoes
          7. 7. Suspend Our Judgment
      3. Seeing Others Clearly
        1. How Do We See Others Clearly?
          1. 1. Filters and Biases
          2. 2. Imposing Our Own Autobiography
          3. 3. We Take Shortcuts for Efficiency
          4. Identifying the Modus Operandi (MO) of Those You Work With
        2. Techniques to Improve on Seeing Others Clearly
          1. 1. Recognize Our Own Biases
          2. 2. Practice Studying Others
          3. 3. Use the Emotional Assessment Checklist
      4. Organizational Awareness
        1. Key Power Relationships
        2. Understanding the Values and Culture of the Organization
      5. Emotional Boundaries
        1. Warning Signs of Emotional Boundary Issues
          1. Moods and Feelings of Others
          2. Pleasing Others
          3. Victim-Like Behavior
          4. Cannot Express Wants and Needs
        2. Respect Emotional Boundaries
          1. Respond Appropriately
          2. Take Responsibility
          3. Let Them Be
          4. You Cannot Fix Other People
          5. Better Communications Around Boundaries
          6. Seek Professional Help
      6. Techniques for Improving Our Social Awareness
        1. 1. Improve Your Empathetic Listening Skills
        2. 2. Take a Class on Listening Skills
        3. 3. Track Emotions During Team Meetings
        4. 4. Identify Emotional Red Flags in Others
        5. 5. Mirror Emotions
        6. 6. Go to School
        7. 7. Track Your Own Emotions
        8. 8. Keep a Journal
        9. 9. Explore and Learn About People
        10. 10. Systematically Dissect the Organizational Culture
        11. 11. Assess Your Project Team
        12. 12. Assess Yourself on Organizational Awareness
        13. 13. Practice Social Awareness During Movies
    2. 6. Relationship Management
      1. An Introduction to Relationship Management
        1. Projects Are a Team Effort
        2. PMs Often Lack Direct Authority
        3. PMs Compete for Resources
        4. PMs Need to Negotiate
        5. PMs Are Communicators
        6. What the Experts Say About Relationship Management
        7. The PM Framework for Emotional Intelligence
      2. Stakeholder Relationships
        1. Identify Project Stakeholders
        2. Collect and Analyze Information About the Stakeholders
        3. Stakeholder Priority
        4. Role on the Project
        5. Position Relative to the Project
        6. Stakeholder Objectives
        7. Facts, Passions, and Areas of Interest
        8. Communication Style
        9. Emotional Intelligence Assessment Checklist
        10. Emotional Connections
        11. Information Overload?
        12. Develop Relationships Strategies
          1. 1. The Direct Approach
          2. 2. The Indirect Approach
          3. 3. Talk to My People
          4. 4. Keep Your Friends Close
          5. 5. Delegate Responsibility for the Relationship
        13. Action Steps to Nurture the Relationship
          1. 1. Regular One-on-One Meetings
          2. 2. Customized Project Briefing Reports
          3. 3. After-Hours Meetings
          4. 4. Maintain an Action Log and Follow Up Regularly
          5. 5. Lunch Meetings
        14. Manage Stakeholder Relationships
          1. The Division Vice President
          2. Consulting Firm
          3. Technology Vendor
        15. Rookie Mistake—Focusing Only on the Project Team
      3. Developing Others
        1. Acknowledge Strengths and Contributions
        2. Targeted Feedback
          1. Stick to the Facts
          2. Focus on the Positive
          3. Be As Clear As Possible
          4. Make It Accurate
          5. Keep It As Objective As Possible
          6. Invest, Don’t Punish
        3. Coaching, Mentoring, and Work Assignments
      4. Telling the Truth
        1. Techniques for Truth Telling
          1. Providing Your Reaction
          2. Saying No
          3. Using “I Like / I Dislike” Statements
          4. Using “I Need” and “I Want” Statements
          5. Stating Your Beliefs or Judgments
          6. Getting Clear
          7. Keep Short Accounts
        2. The Importance of Courage
      5. Additional Principles of Relationship Building
        1. Trustworthiness
        2. Co-Creation—Results We Create Together
        3. Co-Creation Corollary—I Think I’ve Been Here Before
        4. Working with Problem People
          1. Micromanagers and Critics
          2. Dishonest Employees
          3. Cavemen
          4. Addicts and the Mentally Impaired
          5. 1. Stick to Business and Avoid Direct Confrontations
          6. 2. Document Everything
          7. 3. Seek Help
          8. 4. Refocus Your Energies
          9. 5. Consider a Move
          10. 6. Most Important, Don’t Take It Personally
      6. Techniques for Managing Relationships on Projects
        1. 1. Apply the Emotional Intelligence Basics
        2. 2. Stakeholder Management Tool
        3. 3. Regular One-on-One Meetings
        4. 4. Out to Lunch!
        5. 5. Use Icebreakers and Teambuilding Exercises
        6. 6. Develop Others by Becoming a Coach and Mentor
        7. 7. Recognize Others
        8. 8. Assessment Instruments
        9. 9. Practice Truth Telling Techniques
        10. 10. Evaluate How You Are Co-Creating Your Outcomes
        11. 11. What Are Your Relationship Patterns?
        12. 12. Enroll an Accountability Partner
  6. 4. Using EQ to Lead Project Teams
    1. 7. Project Team Leadership
      1. Introduction to Project Team Leadership
        1. What the Experts Say About Team Leadership
      2. Communications
        1. Communicating with Emotional Intelligence
          1. Determine Your Objective
          2. Understand Your Own Emotions
          3. Choose an Appropriate Time, Place, and Mode
          4. Approach Others with Empathy
          5. Listen and Respond to the Emotions of Others
          6. Share Your Own Emotions When Appropriate
          7. Check for Understanding and Reactions
        2. Methods of Project Communications
        3. Use E-Mail and IM Carefully
        4. Improving Your Meetings
        5. Non-Verbal Communications
        6. Congruence in Communications
      3. Conflict Management
        1. Conflict Is Inevitable
        2. Conflict May Be Healthy
        3. Conflict Management Is the PM’s Job
        4. Recognizing That We Have a Conflict
        5. Traditional Approaches to Conflict Management
          1. Compromising
          2. Smoothing or Accommodating
          3. Forcing
          4. Avoiding or Withdrawing
          5. Confrontation or Collaboration
        6. Applying Emotional Intelligence to Conflict Resolution
        7. You Might Just Be the Cause
      4. Inspirational Leadership
        1. Vision Casting
      5. Additional Considerations for Team Leaders
        1. Building the Project Team
        2. Selecting Project Team Members
        3. Impact of Organization Structure on Getting Resources
          1. Selecting Resources in the Functional Organization
          2. Selecting Resources in the Matrix Organizations
          3. Selecting Resources in the Projectized Organizations
        4. Tips for Interviewing Team Members
          1. Judicious Use of Others to Interview
          2. Face-to-Face Interviews
          3. Specific Hiring Qualities
          4. Template for Comparing Apples to Apples
        5. Retaining Team Members
        6. Removing Members from the Team
        7. Better Decisions Through Emotional Intelligence
        8. Getting Support
      6. Techniques for Improving Project Team Leadership
        1. 1. Techniques to Improve Team Communications
        2. 2. Techniques for Conflict Management
        3. 3. Create a Mission, Vision, and Values Statement for Your Project Team
        4. 4. Cast a Vision for the Team
        5. 5. Become a Talent Scout
        6. 6. Become Systematic About Screening and Hiring Resources
        7. 7. Tools to Address Team Strengths and Weaknesses
        8. 8. Expand Your Support Base
    2. 8. Creating a Positive Team Environment
      1. What Makes a Great Project Team
        1. A World of Difference
        2. Resonance and Dissonance in Project Leaders
      2. How PMs Set the Tone and Direction for the Project
        1. Establish Team Values
        2. Enforce the Rules
        3. Standing Up to Management
        4. Hold Others Accountable
        5. Recognize Individuals
      3. The Team Within the Team
        1. Negative Environments
      4. Techniques for Creating a Positive Team Environment
        1. 1. Assess How Team Members View the Team Environment
        2. 2. Put It in Writing
        3. 3. Establish Clear Accountability and Hold People to It
        4. 4. Hold Others to Your Highest Vision for Them
        5. 5. Catch People Doing Something Right
        6. 6. 1001 Ways to Recognize People
        7. 7. Fix Your Broken Windows
    3. 9. Leveraging Emotional Intelligence on Large and Complex Projects
      1. Are You Ready to Lead Large and Complex Projects?
      2. Characteristics of Large and Complex Projects
        1. Stakeholder Conflict
        2. Layers of Staff
        3. Vendors and Subcontractors
        4. Importance to the Organization
        5. Role of the Project Manager
        6. Virtual Teams
      3. Concerns for Large-Scale Project Managers
        1. It’s Lonely at the Top
        2. Role of the Project Manager—Delegation
        3. Importance of Business Skills Versus People Skills
      4. Applying Different Leadership Styles
        1. Visionary Leadership
        2. Coaching Style
        3. Affiliative Style
        4. Democratic Style
        5. Pacesetting Style
        6. Commanding Style
        7. Application of the Leadership Styles
      5. Applying Emotional Intelligence to Virtual Project Teams
        1. The Challenges of Virtual Teams
        2. Emotional Intelligence Helps Virtual Teams
          1. Face-to-Face Meetings
          2. Leverage Technology
          3. Make Communications Work for Everyone
          4. Use Humor
          5. Build Relationships Off the Call
      6. Emotional Intelligence Techniques for Large and Complex Projects
        1. 1. Learn to Identify Leadership Styles
        2. 2. Identify Your Dominant Leadership Style
        3. 3. Build New Leadership Muscles
        4. 4. Improve Your Delegation Skills
        5. 5. Check the Roster for Your Virtual Team
        6. 6. Work on Relationships “Off the Call”
    4. Epilogue
  7. Appendixes
    1. A. Emotional Tally Sheet
    2. B. Emotional Intelligence Assessment Checklist
    3. C. Stakeholder Management Tool
    4. D. Responsibility Assignment Matrix (RAM)
    5. E. Emotional Intelligence Movies and Scenes
    6. F. Magazines and Journals on Emotional Intelligence
    7. G. Books on Emotional Intelligence
    8. H. Training Sources for Emotional Intelligence
      1. General Emotional Intelligence Training
    9. I. Emotional Intelligence Web Sites
    10. J. Emotional Intelligence Assessment Instruments
      1. Emotional Competence Inventory 360, from Daniel Goleman
      2. EQi, the BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory, from Dr. BarOn
      3. The MSCEIT, from John Mayer, Peter Salovey, and David Caruso
      4. Emotional Intelligence Appraisal, Me Edition
      5. Index of Emotional Intelligence
      6. SEI, Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment
    11. K. Results of the 2005 Survey of Emotional Intelligence in PMs
      1. Understanding of Emotional Intelligence
      2. Interest in Learning More About Emotional Intelligence
      3. How PMs Learn About Emotional Intelligence
      4. Emotional Intelligence Contributed to My Current Level of Success As a PM
      5. Emotional Intelligence Will Contribute to My Future Success As a PM