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CHAPTER 7repetition

The fifth dimension of apology—repetition—provides a measure of reassurance to the victim that the offender will not repeat the offense. This is the step that many otherwise thoughtful apologies omit. But through that omission otherwise good apologies suffer, because all victims may have a conscious or unconscious barrier to accepting an apology. For many, the thought of being revictimized is almost unbearably humiliating. The fear that we may be ensnared a second time by the same person prevents many of us from accepting an apology. This fear breeds a suspicion that is a major barrier to moving forward. (That’s too bad, because, as I will show later, accepting an apology does not necessarily mean that we trust the offender. ...

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