49

CHAPTER 3recognition

Recognition—acknowledging the offense—is the first dimension of apology. It establishes that an offense requiring apology has been committed. To the offender this step may seem as obvious as the offense itself, and therefore it may be tempting to just get through the apology to “get on with it.” But more often than not, skipping the recognition step results in a statement that just compounds the offense because it leaves the victim uncertain whether the apologizer understands why the victim is so upset. I urge offenders to make the effort to refract their offense through the consciousness of recognition.

It’s not easy. First, it’s hard to put words to the offense, which is what the recognition step demands. It’s not enough ...

Get Effective Apology now with the O’Reilly learning platform.

O’Reilly members experience books, live events, courses curated by job role, and more from O’Reilly and nearly 200 top publishers.