Disagreements, Disputes, and All-Out War

Chapter 2. Dealing with the Emotions

The first step in handling a conflict is to deal with the emotions, either your own or someone else’s. Whether expressed outwardly or inwardly, these bubble up and create tension that prevents handling the conflict. Even if not expressed directly, such as in angry words or an explosion of rage, emotions can fester inwardly and lead to resentment, sabotage, avoidance strategies, and other negative behaviors that interfere with relationships or productivity on the job.

Even a passing torrent of emotions, if not dealt with and worked through, can poison what had been a good relationship. For example, when Sue had a leak in a newly built room in her basement, the builder Sam initially proposed further construction ...