You are previewing Developing Positive Assertiveness.
O'Reilly logo
Developing Positive Assertiveness

Book Description

Sam R. Lloyd is president of SuccessSystems, Inc., of Boulder, Colorado. He is a past director of the Management Center of Southern Methodist University and has been Assistant Dean of the School of Business at University of Missouri, St. Louis.

For the past 25 years, Mr. Lloyd has trained tens of thousands of individuals in many major organizations, including Motorola, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Hewlett-Packard, Frito-Lay, and Procter & Gamble, among others.

Coverage includes—

  • To improve relationship skills

  • To explain aggressive, assertive, and nonassertive speech and body language

  • To show assertive behavior according to personality type

Table of Contents

  1. Learning Objectives For: DEVELOPING POSITIVE ASSERTIVENESS
  2. About the Author
  3. Preface
  4. Introduction
  5. How to Develop Positive Assertiveness
    1. Three Basic Behavior Styles
      1. Behavior Styles Quiz
    2. Can Behaviors Change?
      1. A Personality Quiz
  6. Ensuring Successful Change
    1. The Five Ps of Successful Change
    2. Are You Using the Right Maps?
    3. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
      1. AN ASSERTIVE PHILOSOPHY
    4. Positive Mental Imagery
    5. Programming Yourself for Success
      1. Reprogramming Yourself
      2. SAMPLE STATEMENTS
      3. YOUR REPROGRAMMING STATEMENTS
  7. Feelings: The Emotional Part of Assertiveness
    1. The Emotions of Assertiveness
      1. Cause and Effect
    2. Choice and Win-Win Relationships
    3. Talking About Feelings
      1. DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL AWARENESS
  8. Changing Your Behaviors
    1. Choosing Assertive Words Carefully
      1. Guidelines for Assertive Word Choice
      2. SOME DO’S AND DON’TS
    2. Body-Language Signals
      1. Nonassertive, Assertive, or Aggressive?
    3. Stop Signs and Green Lights
      1. Stop Signs
      2. Green Lights
  9. Expanding Your Assertiveness
    1. Four Assertive Styles
      1. Supporting/Caring
      2. Directing/Guiding
      3. Analytical
      4. Expressive
      5. Which Style Is Which?—A Quiz
    2. Sending Assertive Messages
      1. Tell or ask Pat to assist you with a project.
      2. Give Chris feedback about how well she has organized a meeting.
      3. Compare Your Responses
      4. Can You Identify These People?
      5. HOW DELIVERY AFFECTS DIFFERENT STYLES
    3. Identifying Styles to Enhance Communication
      1. Supporting/Caring
      2. Directing/Guiding
      3. Analytical
      4. Expressive
  10. Assertive Power Steps
    1. Four Steps to Assertive Communication
      1. Repeat the Question or Statement
      2. Command, Don’t Ask
      3. Add Emotion
      4. Introduce Consequences
  11. Assertive Confrontation
    1. Defining the Problem
      1. What’s the Problem?
    2. Five Tools for Successful Confrontation
    3. Active Listening
      1. Restating What You Hear
      2. TALKING OUT PROBLEMS
    4. Goals for the Present and Future
      1. Short Trips (Short-term goals):
      2. Longer Journeys (Long-term goals):
    5. Giving Yourself Credit for Success
  12. APPENDIX
    1. Summary and Review
    2. Author’s Answers
      1. Behavior Styles Quiz
      2. A Personality Quiz
      3. Nonassertive, Assertive, or Aggressive
      4. Which Style Is Which
      5. Can You Identify These People
      6. Situation: Introducing Consequences
      7. What’s the Problem
      8. Restating What You Hear
    3. Follow-Up Practice Exercises
      1. Practice 1
      2. Practice 1: Author’s Suggested Responses
      3. Practice 2
      4. Practice 2: Author’s Suggested Responses
      5. Practice 3
      6. Practice 3: Author’s Suggested Responses
    4. Additional Reading
      1. Bibliodiv
    5. NOTES
    6. NOTES