You are previewing Developing Emotional and Social Intelligence: Exercises for Leaders, Individuals, and Teams.
O'Reilly logo
Developing Emotional and Social Intelligence: Exercises for Leaders, Individuals, and Teams

Book Description

Praise for Developing Emotional and Social Intelligence

"Anyone who wants to build leaders, individuals, and teams should buy this book and use the exercises! These exercises cut to the chase and show how to develop sustainable change."

—Pamela Siliato, director, Global Organization Development, Medtronic CardioVascular Sector

"Marcia Hughes and Amy Miller have done a great job of creating additional training exercises that can be used with powerful assessment tools. This resource will be a great addition to any trainer's toolkit for working in organizations."

—Steven J. Stein, Ph.D., co-author of the EISA and The EQ Edge

Exercises for leaders, individuals, and teams to develop emotional and social intelligence

Invest in developing individuals' and teams' emotional and social intelligence and watch the benefits to your entire organization accrue. Your people will communicate, resolve conflict, manage stress, and make decisions better. As leaders learn to influence, inspire, and motivate themselves and others, the entire organization will reach new levels of achievement.

Written for leaders, teams, organizations, and other skilled professionals responsible for helping people achieve their best, Developing Emotional and Social Intelligence: Exercises for Leaders, Individuals, and Teams offers practical exercises you can use for building emotional and social intelligence in your clients and your organizations.

Built around the most widely-used assessments, the thirty-six experiential exercises help develop effective individual emotional intelligence skills relating to the five factors measured by the Emotional Intelligence Skills Assessment (EISA) and the seven team emotional and social competencies measured by the Team Emotional and Social Intelligence Survey® (TESI®). Other popular assessments are discussed as well. Many of the exercises can be easily modified to meet a wide range of developmental needs.

Table of Contents

  1. Copyright
  2. On the Web
  3. Acknowledgments
  4. Introduction
  5. I. Developing Emotional and Social Intelligence with Individuals and Teams
    1. 1. Getting the Most from This Resource
      1. 1.1. PURPOSE
      2. 1.2. AUDIENCE
      3. 1.3. ASSESSMENTS
      4. 1.4. HOW THIS BOOK IS ORGANIZED
      5. 1.5. GUIDELINES FOR FACILITATORS
        1. 1.5.1. Preparation and Selection
        2. 1.5.2. Exercise Format
        3. 1.5.3. Feedback and Reflection
    2. 2. Supporting Your ESI Work: Using Assessments
      1. 2.1. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILLS ASSESSMENT (EISA)
      2. 2.2. TEAM EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE (TESI)
      3. 2.3. ADDITIONAL ASSESSMENTS
        1. 2.3.1. Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i) and EQ-360
        2. 2.3.2. Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI)
        3. 2.3.3. Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
        4. 2.3.4. Emergenetics
        5. 2.3.5. Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation–Behavior (FIRO-B)
      4. 2.4. CONNECTING THESE ASSESSMENTS WITH THE EXERCISES
  6. II. Exercises to Use in Developing Emotionally Intelligent Leaders and Individuals, Organized in the Five Categories of the EISA
    1. 3. Perceiving*
      1. 3.1. EXERCISE 3.1. EMOTIONAL CONGRUENCE
        1. 3.1.1. Purpose
        2. 3.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 3.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 3.1.4. Audience
        5. 3.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 3.1.6. Materials
        7. 3.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 3.1.8. Instructions
      2. 3.2. EXERCISE 3.2. EMOTIONS BINGO
        1. 3.2.1. Purpose
        2. 3.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 3.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 3.2.4. Audience
        5. 3.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 3.2.6. Materials
        7. 3.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 3.2.8. Instructions
      3. 3.3. EXERCISE 3.3. ACKNOWLEDGING AMBIVALENCE
        1. 3.3.1. Purpose
        2. 3.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 3.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 3.3.4. Audience
        5. 3.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 3.3.6. Materials
        7. 3.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 3.3.8. Instructions
    2. 4. Managing*
      1. 4.1. EXERCISE 4.1. SUCCESS IN MANAGING EMOTIONS
        1. 4.1.1. Purpose
        2. 4.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 4.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 4.1.4. Audience
        5. 4.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 4.1.6. Materials
        7. 4.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 4.1.8. Instructions
        9. 4.1.9. Scenario One—Not So Successful
        10. 4.1.10. Scenario Two—Successful
        11. 4.1.11. Scenario Three—Future Success
      2. 4.2. EXERCISE 4.2. FROM EMOTIONAL INTENSITY TO CURIOSITY
        1. 4.2.1. Purpose
        2. 4.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 4.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 4.2.4. Audience
        5. 4.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 4.2.6. Materials
        7. 4.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 4.2.8. Instructions
      3. 4.3. EXERCISE 4.3. THE ESSENTIAL CONVERSATION
        1. 4.3.1. Purpose
        2. 4.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 4.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 4.3.4. Audience
        5. 4.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 4.3.6. Materials
        7. 4.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 4.3.8. Instructions
    3. 5. Decision Making*
      1. 5.1. EXERCISE 5.1. EMOTIONS INFORM DECISIONS
        1. 5.1.1. Purpose
        2. 5.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 5.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 5.1.4. Audience
        5. 5.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 5.1.6. Materials
        7. 5.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 5.1.8. Instructions
      2. 5.2. EXERCISE 5.2. WHO'S IN CONTROL—YOU OR YOUR IMPULSES? DEVELOPING SELF-MASTERY
        1. 5.2.1. Purpose
        2. 5.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 5.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 5.2.4. Audience
        5. 5.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 5.2.6. Materials
        7. 5.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 5.2.8. Instructions
      3. 5.3. EXERCISE 5.3. DECISION MAKING, EMOTIONS, AND THINKING STYLES
        1. 5.3.1. Purpose
        2. 5.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 5.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 5.3.4. Audience
        5. 5.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 5.3.6. Materials
        7. 5.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 5.3.8. Instructions
        9. 5.3.9. Definition of Attributes
        10. 5.3.10. Role Play Instructions for Person A: The Advocate
        11. 5.3.11. Role Play Instructions for Person B: The One to Be Persuaded
        12. 5.3.12. Reference
    4. 6. Achieving*
      1. 6.1. EXERCISE 6.1. EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING
        1. 6.1.1. Purpose
        2. 6.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 6.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 6.1.4. Audience
        5. 6.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 6.1.6. Materials
        7. 6.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 6.1.8. Instructions
      2. 6.2. EXERCISE 6.2. COLLABORATING
        1. 6.2.1. Purpose
        2. 6.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 6.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 6.2.4. Audience
        5. 6.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 6.2.6. Materials
        7. 6.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 6.2.8. Instructions
      3. 6.3. EXERCISE 6.3. ALIGNING YOUR POWER
        1. 6.3.1. Purpose
        2. 6.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 6.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 6.3.4. Audience
        5. 6.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 6.3.6. Materials
        7. 6.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 6.3.8. Instructions
    5. 7. Influencing*
      1. 7.1. EXERCISE 7.1. BE A MAGNET
        1. 7.1.1. Purpose
        2. 7.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 7.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 7.1.4. Audience
        5. 7.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 7.1.6. Materials
        7. 7.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 7.1.8. Instructions
      2. 7.2. EXERCISE 7.2. ENGAGED LISTENING
        1. 7.2.1. Purpose
        2. 7.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 7.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 7.2.4. Audience
        5. 7.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 7.2.6. Materials
        7. 7.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 7.2.8. Instructions
      3. 7.3. EXERCISE 7.3. ACHIEVE YOUR G.O.A.L. WITH EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK
        1. 7.3.1. Purpose
        2. 7.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 7.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 7.3.4. Audience
        5. 7.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 7.3.6. Time Matrix
        7. 7.3.7. Instructions
        8. 7.3.8. I. The Situation
        9. 7.3.9. II. Mutual Goals
        10. 7.3.10. III. Objective Observations
        11. 7.3.11. IV. How I Was Affected
        12. 7.3.12. V. Long-Term
        13. 7.3.13. VI. Goals
  7. III. Exercises to Build Emotionally Intelligent Teams, Organized in the Seven Categories of the TESI®
    1. 8. Team Identity
      1. 8.1. EXERCISE 8.1. TEAM IDENTITY SCAVENGER HUNT
        1. 8.1.1. Purpose
        2. 8.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 8.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 8.1.4. Audience
        5. 8.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 8.1.6. Materials
        7. 8.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 8.1.8. Instructions
      2. 8.2. EXERCISE 8.2. WALK IN MY SHOES
        1. 8.2.1. Purpose
        2. 8.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 8.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 8.2.4. Audience
        5. 8.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 8.2.6. Materials
        7. 8.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 8.2.8. Instructions
      3. 8.3. EXERCISE 8.3. BUILDING TEAM VALUES
        1. 8.3.1. Purpose
        2. 8.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 8.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 8.3.4. Audience
        5. 8.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 8.3.6. Materials
        7. 8.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 8.3.8. Instructions
    2. 9. Team Motivation
      1. 9.1. EXERCISE 9.1. SUCCESS THROUGH BEING ON TARGET
        1. 9.1.1. Purpose
        2. 9.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 9.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 9.1.4. Audience
        5. 9.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 9.1.6. Materials
        7. 9.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 9.1.8. Instructions
      2. 9.2. EXERCISE 9.2. ATTITUDE RULES MOTIVATION
        1. 9.2.1. Purpose
        2. 9.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 9.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 9.2.4. Audience
        5. 9.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 9.2.6. Materials
        7. 9.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 9.2.8. Instructions
        9. 9.2.9. Reference
      3. 9.3. EXERCISE 9.3. FOCUSING ON INSPIRATION
        1. 9.3.1. Purpose
        2. 9.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 9.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 9.3.4. Audience
        5. 9.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 9.3.6. Materials
        7. 9.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 9.3.8. Instructions
    3. 10. Team Emotional Awareness
      1. 10.1. EXERCISE 10.1. NAME THAT EMOTION
        1. 10.1.1. Purpose
        2. 10.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 10.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 10.1.4. Audience
        5. 10.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 10.1.6. Materials
        7. 10.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 10.1.8. Instructions
      2. 10.2. EXERCISE 10.2. NOTICING EMOTIONS
        1. 10.2.1. Purpose
        2. 10.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 10.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 10.2.4. Audience
        5. 10.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 10.2.6. Materials
        7. 10.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 10.2.8. Instructions
      3. 10.3. EXERCISE 10.3. PAYING ATTENTION TO US
        1. 10.3.1. Purpose
        2. 10.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 10.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 10.3.4. Audience
        5. 10.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 10.3.6. Materials
        7. 10.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 10.3.8. Instructions
    4. 11. Team Communication
      1. 11.1. EXERCISE 11.1. LISTENING WITH THE EARS OF YOUR HEART
        1. 11.1.1. Purpose
        2. 11.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 11.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 11.1.4. Audience
        5. 11.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 11.1.6. Materials
        7. 11.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 11.1.8. Instructions
      2. 11.2. EXERCISE 11.2. DIVERSITY MANIA
        1. 11.2.1. Purpose
        2. 11.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 11.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 11.2.4. Audience
        5. 11.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 11.2.6. Materials
        7. 11.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 11.2.8. Instructions
      3. 11.3. EXERCISE 11.3. TURN OFF EMAIL!
        1. 11.3.1. Purpose
        2. 11.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 11.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 11.3.4. Audience
        5. 11.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 11.3.6. Materials
        7. 11.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 11.3.8. Instructions
    5. 12. Team Stress Tolerance
      1. 12.1. EXERCISE 12.1. WORK AND PLAY
        1. 12.1.1. Purpose
        2. 12.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 12.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 12.1.4. Audience
        5. 12.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 12.1.6. Materials
        7. 12.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 12.1.8. Instructions
      2. 12.2. EXERCISE 12.2. WHEN THE INTERNET IS DOWN
        1. 12.2.1. Purpose
        2. 12.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 12.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 12.2.4. Audience
        5. 12.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 12.2.6. Materials
        7. 12.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 12.2.8. Instructions
        9. 12.2.9. Scenario
      3. 12.3. EXERCISE 12.3. ENERGIZERS AND STRESS TRIGGERS
        1. 12.3.1. Purpose
        2. 12.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 12.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 12.3.4. Audience
        5. 12.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 12.3.6. Materials
        7. 12.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 12.3.8. Instructions
    6. 13. Team Conflict Resolution
      1. 13.1. EXERCISE 13.1. SWOT YOUR TEAM CONFLICT
        1. 13.1.1. Purpose
        2. 13.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 13.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 13.1.4. Audience
        5. 13.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 13.1.6. Materials
        7. 13.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 13.1.8. Instructions
      2. 13.2. EXERCISE 13.2. JUDGING OR OPEN-MINDED?
        1. 13.2.1. Purpose
        2. 13.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 13.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 13.2.4. Audience
        5. 13.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 13.2.6. Materials
        7. 13.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 13.2.8. Instructions
      3. 13.3. EXERCISE 13.3. TO CONFRONT OR NOT TO CONFRONT
        1. 13.3.1. Purpose
        2. 13.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 13.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 13.3.4. Audience
        5. 13.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 13.3.6. Materials
        7. 13.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 13.3.8. Instructions
        9. 13.3.9. Overview
        10. 13.3.10. Role for Person A: Jean
        11. 13.3.11. Role for Person B: Terry
    7. 14. Team Positive Mood
      1. 14.1. EXERCISE 14.1. CULTURAL FEST
        1. 14.1.1. Purpose
        2. 14.1.2. Thumbnail
        3. 14.1.3. Outcomes
        4. 14.1.4. Audience
        5. 14.1.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 14.1.6. Materials
        7. 14.1.7. Time Matrix
        8. 14.1.8. Instructions
        9. 14.1.9. Part 1
        10. 14.1.10. Part 2
        11. 14.1.11. Part 3
      2. 14.2. EXERCISE 14.2. RECOGNITION CUBES
        1. 14.2.1. Purpose
        2. 14.2.2. Thumbnail
        3. 14.2.3. Outcomes
        4. 14.2.4. Audience
        5. 14.2.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 14.2.6. Materials
        7. 14.2.7. Time Matrix
        8. 14.2.8. Instructions
      3. 14.3. EXERCISE 14.3. ROUNDS OF APPRECIATION
        1. 14.3.1. Purpose
        2. 14.3.2. Thumbnail
        3. 14.3.3. Outcomes
        4. 14.3.4. Audience
        5. 14.3.5. Facilitator Competencies
        6. 14.3.6. Materials
        7. 14.3.7. Time Matrix
        8. 14.3.8. Instructions
    8. Conclusion
    9. A. Appendix: Feelings Vocabulary
    10. Resources
    11. References
    12. About the Authors