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Dealing with the Tough Stuff: How to Achieve Results from Crucial Conversations

Book Description

How to handle difficult discussions in the workplace

Packed with practical and pragmatic suggestions and methods for dealing with the tough stuff at work, this unique and helpful book features simple diagnostics, models, and processes that you can put to use immediately.

The author team shares their years of research and experience so that you can benefit from their case studies and examples, all of which are aimed at increasing the confidence of anyone working in a management or leadership role. You'll discover how the science of human behavior—both verbal and nonverbal—plays an enormous role when handling conflict situations and you'll learn how to apply a variety of tools, tips, and strategies when leading critical conversations with empathy and assertiveness.

  • Explains why avoiding dealing with the tough stuff at work can be so costly for managers, staff, and, ultimately, the business

  • Features methods and strategies that have been backed by contemporary theory and tested and trialed with thousands of participants

  • Zeroes in on ways to uncover the root cause of difficult behavior

  • Shares advice for finding the best way to be assertive in any situation

  • Reveals techniques for depersonalizing conflict and avoiding language that causes conflict

Table of Contents

  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Contents
  5. Preface
  6. About the authors
  7. Acknowledgements
  8. Introduction
    1. Making a difference
    2. The foundation for success
    3. Difficult situations, not difficult people
    4. Manipulating for good
    5. Upgrade your expectations
    6. How to use this book
    7. Stepping up to the challenge
  9. Chapter 1: What's your tough stuff? Getting clear on what's tough for you
    1. Finding out your tough stuff
    2. Vulnerability is the pathway to growth
    3. Conclusion
    4. Darren's insights
    5. Alison's insights
    6. Sean's insights
    7. Chapter summary
  10. Chapter 2: Dealing with the tough stuff—foundational skills
    1. Why do we do what we do?
    2. Behaviour modification
    3. Getting clear
    4. Ensure maximum effectiveness
    5. Competing behaviours
    6. Meaningful work
    7. Conclusion
    8. Darren's insights
    9. Alison's insights
    10. Sean's insights
    11. Chapter summary
  11. Chapter 3: Dealing with the fluff stuff—get more direct in your language and achieve clarity
    1. Get rid of the fluff
    2. Traits versus behaviours
    3. Given the opportunity, most people do the right thing
    4. Stepping into behaviour-based language
    5. Communication media
    6. The power of words
    7. Strip back your message
    8. Conclusion
    9. Darren's insights
    10. Alison's insights
    11. Sean's insights
    12. Chapter summary
  12. Chapter 4: Dealing with the unsaid stuff—ensuring maximum leverage from your non-verbal communication
    1. Non-verbal communication
    2. Approachable versus credible
    3. Making your point
    4. The game-changer
    5. Grounded in science
    6. Conclusion
    7. Darren's insights
    8. Alison's insights
    9. Sean's insights
    10. Chapter summary
  13. Chapter 5: Dealing with the gruff stuff—addressing anger and managing high emotions
    1. Emotions: ignore them at your peril
    2. Allow others to own their own emotions
    3. Anger and actions are two separate things
    4. Tour of the emotional brain
    5. Emotions at work: addressing anger and sadness
    6. Conclusion
    7. Darren's insights
    8. Alison's insights
    9. Sean's insights
    10. Chapter summary
  14. Chapter 6: Dealing with the huff stuff—dealing with resistant, defensive and stubborn behaviour
    1. Resistant behaviour
    2. Defensive behaviour
    3. Turn fear into confidence
    4. Stubborn behaviour
    5. Assertiveness and empathy
    6. The other half of the assertiveness equation
    7. Solving the assertiveness puzzle
    8. Conclusion
    9. Darren's insights
    10. Alison's insights
    11. Sean's insights
    12. Chapter summary
  15. Chapter 7: Dealing with the bluff stuff—handling emotional manipulation in the workplace
    1. Two kinds of bluffers
    2. Two-way street
    3. Avoid the popularity stakes
    4. Understanding intimidation and shaming
    5. Dealing with passive-aggressive behaviours
    6. Strategies for dealing with the bluff stuff
    7. Conclusion
    8. Darren's thoughts
    9. Alison's thoughts
    10. Sean's thoughts
    11. Chapter summary
  16. Chapter 8: Dealing with the rough stuff—the big three: restructure, redundancy and dismissal
    1. Mapping the journey
    2. Mindset makes a difference
    3. Moments of truth: having the termination conversation
    4. True transparency: give them 100 per cent
    5. Stepping through grief and loss
    6. Disruption creates innovation
    7. Conclusion
    8. Darren's thoughts
    9. Alison's thoughts
    10. Sean's thoughts
    11. Chapter summary
  17. Chapter 9: Dealing with the off-the-cuff stuff—building skills to handle immediate crisis
    1. How you turn up to a crisis
    2. How you deal with the aftermath
    3. How you prepare for future crisis events
    4. Conclusion
    5. Darren's insights
    6. Alison's insights
    7. Sean's insights
    8. Chapter summary
  18. Chapter 10: Dealing with enough stuff—prioritising things that matter
    1. The mind is not always stronger than the body
    2. How much stress is enough stress?
    3. Ramp up and bounce back
    4. Celebrate your progress
    5. You are the company you keep
    6. Develop the skill of courage
    7. Do the stuff you are great at and outsource the rest
    8. Create great habits
    9. Conclusion
    10. Darren's insights
    11. Alison's insights
    12. Sean's insights
    13. Chapter summary
  19. Conclusion
    1. Mum was right … again
    2. What sort of boss or colleague are you?
    3. Practise what you preach
    4. The confidence economy
    5. Dealing with the chuff stuff
  20. Index