Appendix A. Acknowledgments

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When he sits down and commits some thoughts to paper, an author makes the bold assumption that a reader will spend her time (which could be spent a thousand other ways) taking the journey he’s laid out.

The road from assumption to realization is long and complicated, and I could not have successfully navigated it without these people:

Dan Perkins said to me, “You know, you should write a book. . .”

Andrew Hackard edited that book, Just A Geek, from which these stories were excised. Without Andrew’s guidance and encouragement, I wouldn’t have gotten past the title page.

Bobby The Mat edited the Saga of SpongeBob Vegas Pants, and helped me find the beginning that I so desperately needed.

My family (the one I grew up with and the one I made myself) participated in the real-life events that inspired these stories, reminded me of stuff I’d forgotten, and didn’t get upset at the stuff I left out.

Thumper introduced me to DeHart’s printing, where Wendy patiently answered all my stupid questions.

Travis Oates taught me how to write sketch comedy, helped me overcome my fears of not being funny, and has been a treasured, faithful, reliable friend. He also wrote the awesome one-line descriptions of all the stories that’s on the back cover. And he told me to include an introduction.

Stephen King wrote stories I liked to read when I was a kid. One of those stories became

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