Cut the Noise

5 Outcomes: We’ll see what we see

I tried to be a perfect dad … but I got too attached to the outcome.

I have often taken everyone else’s fun too seriously. In fact, many times in my life I have been guilty of being too attached to the outcome of other people having a good time. If you come to a dinner party at my house, I can be fairly obsessive about making sure everyone is having fun. I like to know that everyone’s drink is charged, the food is good and the conversation is flowing. That’s me. I love to entertain and I love it when people are having a blast.

Now, that’s a good trait on the whole. But I want to say a couple of things about it. First of all, if taken too far it will set up a need for the night to be perfect. And perfection, as we have already established, gets in the way of an outstanding life. It can also get in the way of an outstanding dinner party.

So it is important for me to be aware that this dinner party doesn’t have to be perfect. I can set it up so there is the potential for everyone to have fun. Then I need to let go and experience the night. What will be, will be. It’s important for me to maximise my enjoyment of the evening and not to get too attached to the outcome.

Sometimes kids understand this better than adults. This was illustrated for me beautifully by my son Billy during a trip to Disneyland when he was five years old. You see, I had this idea that I thought was really cool. Since I’m from the United States, I thought it would be a great ...