REGRETTING SAYING SOMETHING HORRIBLE
SOMETIMES I LET A PROBLEM go for a long time, and then when I bring it up, I say something just awful. How do I recover from this?”
The Danger Point
When other people do things that bother us, and then we tell ourselves a story about how they’re bad and wrong, we’re setting ourselves up for an unhealthy conversation. Of course, when we tell ourselves an ugly story and then sit on it, it only gets worse. Stories left unattended don’t get better with time—they ferment. Then, when we eventually can’t take it anymore, we say something we regret.
The Solution
First, don’t repress your story. Use your STATE skills early on, before the story turns too ugly. Second, if you have let the problem build, ...
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