I NEED TIME TO CALM DOWN!

“YEAH, BUT . . .

I’VE BEEN TOLD THAT I should never go to bed angry. Is that always a good idea?”

The Danger Point

Once you’ve become angry, it’s not always easy to calm down. You’ve told yourself an ugly story, your body has responded by preparing for a fight, and now you’re trying your best not to duke it out—only your body hasn’t caught up with your brain. So what do you do? Do you try to stay in dialogue even though your intuition tells you to back off and buy some time? After all, Mom said, “Never go to bed angry.”

The Solution

Okay, so your mom wasn’t exactly right. She was right by suggesting that you shouldn’t let serious problems go unresolved. She was wrong about always sticking with a discussion, no matter ...

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