Crucial Conversations by Al Switzler, Ron McMillan, Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson

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WATCH FOR CONDITIONS

In truth, most of us do have trouble dual-processing (simultaneously watching for content and conditions)—especially when both stakes and emotions are high. We get so caught up in what we’re saying that it can be nearly impossible to pull ourselves out of the argument in order to see what’s happening to ourselves and to others. Even when we are startled by what’s going on, enough so that we think, “Yipes! This has turned ugly. Now what?” we may not know what to look for in order to turn things around. We may not see enough of what’s happening.

How could that be? How could we be smack-dab in the middle of a heated debate and not really see what’s going on? A metaphor might help. It’s akin to fly fishing for the first time ...

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