Forgiveness doesn't always come easy, but I encourage you to develop a habit pattern of forgiving and forgetting, quickly, whenever you perceive any wrong done. Even small affronts and insults, little things at the grocery store and gas station that bug you. Make it a habit, so when the big things come along, you've exercised that "forgiveness muscle" and are able to take on the task. Ultimately, forgiveness is a decision, a mental process that we, and we alone, control. The only person who suffers when we hold onto anger and resentment is us.
If you forgive and don't forget about it, you haven't really forgiven. When you choose to forgive the jerk who cuts you off in traffic, and just forget about it, neither he nor the circumstance dominates any part of your mind. You made the choice. You no longer feel powerless and angry, but empowered. But when you hold onto the anger and resentment, you are giving up your power because the negative feelings keep going round and round, dominating your thoughts. Forgiveness is your choice to make. You're taking charge of your life and life circumstances, when you're forgiving.
No, I don't know what you've been through. And even though you matter, the circumstances that brought you to this moment are only that: circumstances. None were accidental. Some were good and some were bad.
Both the good and the bad things in our lives can hold us down. Both good and bad circumstances can become familiar and comfortable. ...