Chapter 21. Ten Pearls of Wisdom from Professional Mediators

In This Chapter

  • Listening carefully to all parties

  • Focusing on similarities

  • Steering the conversation toward a solution

Seeing a conflict through to a positive resolution can be life-changing — it certainly has been for me. It's empowering to help others, and yourself, through a difficult time whether you're at work, at home, or at play. My goal with this chapter is to share what I know about mediation and conflict and to take advantage of the fact that I know some really accomplished and insightful mediators. My hope is that some of this expertise will help you turn problems around in your everyday life without having to become an expert in conflict resolution. So I made a list of things I thought you should know, talked to my friends about their best advice, and put it all together to give you these bits of information that I hope you find helpful.

Value the Process as Much as the Outcome

Achieving resolution and securing a signature on an agreement form may be an obvious sign that a conflict conversation has gone well — unless, of course, you steamrolled over the parties and forced them to acquiesce because you wanted to quickly put the surface issues behind you. Striving to improve a working relationship gives you more than a momentary solution. A mediation process that allows the parties to come away with an understanding of the real issues can also deliver broader benefits, such as more collaboration between the two parties, ...

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