Shifting Positions

Have you ever cried at a sad tale because you identified with a character? It's one thing to shed tears alone on your sofa in front of a sentimental movie, another to cry uncontrollably in a public gathering.

  • Association is the ability to really live an experience in the moment and also to keep on re-living it as if it's happening again right now. For example, the ability to enjoy being on a mountain top admiring the stunning views all around you and accessing that memory at will.
  • Dissociation is the ability to watch yourself quite separately from the experience as an impartial observer. For example, developing the ability to dissociate from emotional episodes saves you the embarrassment of red eyes when you want to look calm and professional.

As a coach, you need to be able to do both: step into situations and then step out and encourage your clients to do the same. Being empathetic to your clients' experiences is appropriate for you in order to understand what they may be experiencing, yet coaching also requires that you keep your professional distance to hold the space and remain objective.

Associating with the moment

Being present in the moment and paying full attention to the coaching session is absolutely essential; wondering what's cooking for supper is no use. In order to get your client associated into the coaching, choose a time and place for coaching when and where they can concentrate on being in the coaching space particularly for business people. ...

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