Coaching with NLP For Dummies®

Chapter 14

Coaching through Conflict

In This Chapter

• Resolving disagreements while avoiding violence
• Shifting away from blame
• Increasing team cohesion
• Giving and receiving feedback effectively

Conflict – the state of opposition of ideas and interests – is an everyday fact of life that shows up in different ways. On the positive side, the energy of bouncing differing ideas back and forward allows creative solutions to emerge; the collaboration between two different styles generates wonderful results. On the negative side, conflicts lead to dramatic showdowns, physical violence and even devastatingly destructive wars.

Life would be bland without any creative tension, and expecting peace, joy and harmony at all times is unnatural. In fact, that sounds like some kind of la-la land occupied by children's toys like the Teletubbies. Yet when the battles arising from opposing views and interests escalate out of control, they not only put the parties concerned in danger, but also bring innocent bystanders into the fray.

Clients bring tales of conflict into their coaching sessions from all aspects of their lives: power struggles, money issues, relationship challenges, intellectual differences, cross-cultural misunderstandings and battles with suppliers or customers. Coaching provides a safe space to explore the creative solutions that can emerge through conflict. The battles you assist your clients in solving may be:

• Internal, involving contradictory thoughts, decisions and dilemmas ...