CHAPTER 4We’re All Recovering Judgers

There is a crucial difference between being caught up in a feeling and becoming aware that you are being swept away by it. Socrates’ injunction “know thyself” speaks to this keystone of emotional intelligence: awareness of one’s own feelings as they occur.

Daniel Goleman11

We took a short break while Joseph went off to get us fresh coffee from the kitchenette adjacent to his office. He was gone long enough for me to check my phone for texts and voice messages. There was a voice message from Grace. It was about her young assistant, Jennifer, who had messed up on yet another assignment. “I’ve just got to vent,” Grace was saying. “I feel like I’m two seconds from firing her. Can you call me right back?” I clicked ...

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