Brilliant Influence

8 brilliant influence

Sharing ideas, donating your time, and not quibbling about

details of who owes what to whom, are all indicators of gener-

osity: they say, “here is someone of substance”.

To build your influence, look for opportunities to be generous.

Try thinking about your current colleagues and business con-

tacts, and make a list of all of them down the left-hand side of

a sheet of paper. Against each name, note down one generous

thing you could do for that person in the next month.

Follow-through

When you make a commitment, see that you honour it. If you

are unsure whether you will be able to, it is far better to not make

the commitment in the first place. This way, you will get a repu-

tation as someone who can be trusted and relied upon, which

is important, because people will be attracted to you when your

actions accord with your words.

brilliant

tip

Keep a list of the commitments you make in your notebook, diary

or organiser. Make sure you record the deadlines too, and schedule

time to act on each undertaking. Best of all, if you use an electronic

organiser, set a reminder.

Attitudes

The attitude you portray to the world says something important

about who you really are. Your attitude will affect my behav-

iour and my attitude. Brilliant attitudes are self-reinforcing, as

are negative attitudes. Three brilliant attitudes are: flexibility,

persistence and optimism. Together, they will make you more

resilient and able to cope with adversity, to take setbacks as

Use your common sense: the basics of influence 9

challenges, and to keep going when

you’d really rather curl up some-

where cosy. Resilience is influential

because it shows that you can stick

with what you believe, and it dem-

onstrates confidence and mental

toughness. These are attractive character traits that we associate

with influential people.

Flexibility

If two people are in the same situation and they want the same

thing, then the one who is more flexible in their behaviour will

get what they want; and the one who is more flexible in how they

deal with the other will feel that they are in control. When we are

willing to try different approaches, we often achieve our goals.

Do you remember a time when you tried to influence somebody

and it was just not working? What did you do? If you ultimately

failed, it is probably because you stuck to one or two ways

of influencing them. If you succeeded, it may well have been

because you switched tactics until you got the result you wanted.

If at first you don’t succeed; try something different!

Persistence

Persistence – although not to the point of futility – is an attractive

attitude that also helps you to reach your goal. If you find someone

is resistant to an offer or a request, then keep asking, but look for

different ways to do so. People tend to agree to things after you have

asked several times. Once or twice may not be enough; you may

need to ask six or seven times. As long as you stay polite and are

prepared to respect a clear request to stop, you have nothing to lose.

When have you recently tried to influence a situation and,

looking back, you can see that you may have given in too soon?

Maybe you still have a chance to go back and try again.

three brilliant attitudes

are: flexibility,

persistence and

optimism