CHAPTER 7
Embracing the
change
‘You gain strength, experience and confidence through every
experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do
the thing you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt, American First Lady and humanitarian
Doing the thing you cannot do means making a change.
You’ve probably already realised that putting your Confidence
Project into action is going to mean making some changes in the
way you think and behave. You may have made some changes
already. You may even have done some things you previously
could not do. If so, brilliant! You haven’t let the thought of doing
something different hinder you.
Some people do find the concept of change harder to deal with
than others. Don’t worry if you’re one of these people; no one
finds it easy. There’s a simple reason for this. Human nature
instils within us a natural and instinctive caution whenever we’re
faced with doing something new or different. This of course is
a positive trait; it stops us rushing into things that are ill-con-
ceived, foolish or even dangerous.
People with self-confidence are able
to control this natural caution. They
understand why it’s there but they
have the self-confidence and self-
belief to make sure it doesn’t work
people with self-
confidence are able to
control their natural
caution
184 brilliant confidence
against them or hold them back when they need to change their
behaviour or when an opportunity arises.
So how do you find the right balance between caution and
action? In other words, how can you help yourself to get moving
with the changes you have decided to make as part of your
Confidence Project? To do this, you need to understand what
happens in your mind when you’re faced with the need to
change.
Dealing with change within your Confidence Project
You may well be wondering what I actually mean by ‘change’. In
terms of your Confidence Project, ‘change’ means doing any of
the following differently to the way you normally do it:
Communicating verbally For example, one of the changes
you may have decided to make in your Confidence Project
is to speak louder or perhaps more slowly in certain
situations.
Communicating non-verbally You may have identified
that you need to look people in the eye more when you’re
talking to them or perhaps you need to change your
posture.
ThinkingPerhaps you’ve realised that you tend to be too
negative and that you need to think more positively from
now on.
BehavingYou may have realised that your present lifestyle
isn’t conducive to being more confident. For example, you
may have decided that you need to get a grip of yourself, be
more organised and more focused.
These are just a few examples of changes people decide to make.
The changes you need to make for your Confidence Project to be
successful may be similar or perhaps very different. You’ll have got
a good feel for these during the perception exercises in Chapter 3.

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