Brilliant Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, 2nd Edition

Don’t allow yourself to be thwarted

Researchers have found that heaping praise on children is not the most effective way to promote their self-esteem. What really counts is having opportunities to experience themselves as effective and competent people. Self-esteem is synonymous with self-efficacy. On the other hand, if you allow yourself to become helpless and convince yourself you lack the resources to get your needs met, your self-esteem will suffer.

Negative beliefs about helplessness are a recurring theme for people with low self-worth. Once established, they can encourage passive and defeatist attitudes that only make the situation worse. Many people with poor self-images sit on their dreams and aspirations because they allow their critical ...