Breaking the rules
As far as the CBT model is concerned, the reason that people who suffer from a poor self-image are so vulnerable is because they cling rigidly to a set of fixed beliefs about the conditions under which they are allowed to feel okay about themselves.
When these rules are broken the individual is laid open to the full emotional consequences of latent core beliefs that they are bad, helpless or unlovable. Trying to stick to the rules is actually a safety behaviour designed to safeguard them from a toxic cocktail of distressing feelings.
However, the rules themselves are invariably so rigid and so extreme that the poor person concerned has little realistic chance of living up to their demands. When they fail to do so, they feel ...
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