Do I have to forgive?
Clients often get to an impasse in therapy where they put themselves under enormous pressure to forgive some past hurt at a point when they still feel unable to do so. It is crucial to remember that forgiveness is not mandatory. See it rather as a power at your disposal, even if you are not ready to deploy it. Whether you ever choose to exercise that power is entirely up to you.
People often feel that if they forgive the offence against them they are somehow absolving the other person of responsibility, but this is not necessarily the case. What you are doing is resolving to stop mentally calling them to account for their crimes. You are choosing to direct your emotional resources elsewhere.
- Try to focus on the potential ...
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