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Beyond Dealmaking: Five Steps to Negotiating Profitable Relationships

Book Description

Praise for Beyond Dealmaking

"Every potential rainmaker and savvy competitor needs Melanie Billings-Yun's GRASP method for negotiation. You'll never have to search for leads again. I highly recommend this book."

—Jeffrey J. Fox, author, How to Be a Rainmaker, Rain, and How to Be a Fierce Competitor

"Stepping back from the details of the deal, Beyond Dealmaking focuses on the bigger picture—engaging people to work together in an authentic way to resolve issues. Dr. Billings-Yun's accessible approach offers negotiators more than merely how to 'get to yes' but, more importantly, how to stay there."

—Carol Frohlinger, coauthor, Her Place at the Table: A Woman's Guide to Negotiating Five Key Challenges to Leadership Success, and co-founder of Negotiating Women, Inc.

"The concepts advocated in Beyond Dealmaking are spot on, particularly for global negotiations and joint ventures such as ones I routinely dealt with in mergers and acquisitions. Attention to productive relationships is one element that consistently crosses cultures and geographies. Dr. Billings-Yun captures the essence of a complicated topic concisely, with concrete examples that bring it to life and a conversational tone that makes it a leisurely read."

—Jacqui Winship, director, Corporate Strategy and Business Development, Whirlpool Corporation

"Melanie Billings-Yun has produced an innovative, refreshing approach to negotiation based on her years of practical experience around the world. She treats negotiation as an on-going process that forms the core of a successful relationship, not as merely a free-standing transaction. Beyond Dealmaking takes us beyond 'yes' to build the sort of trust that ensures success."

—Stephen Bosworth, dean, The Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, Tufts University

"Finally, a clear-eyed how-to book that understands that negotiation is not just about terms, but about people. Beyond Dealmaking shows us how to make lasting agreements based on understanding, fairness, and respect. Filled with fascinating stories of negotiations of every type, this is a book that everyone can learn from to improve their work and their lives—and maybe even ease the burden on our overloaded courts."

—Betty Roberts, arbitrator, mediator, and former Oregon Supreme Court Justice

"I am delighted to see a considered and sustainable approach to negotiation that understands that actions, words, and fairness have an impact that continues far beyond the signing of a deal."

—Edward C. Prescott, Ph.D., professor, and winner of the Nobel Prize for Economics

Table of Contents

  1. Copyright
  2. Preface
  3. Introduction
    1. Negotiating Relationships
    2. Taking the Fear out of Negotiation
    3. Organization of the Book
  4. 1. WHY RELATIONSHIPS MATTER
    1. 1. THE GOAL IS NOT A GOOD DEAL, BUT A GOOD OUTCOME
      1. 1.1. Short-Term Fixation, Long-Term Loss
      2. 1.2. Deals Versus Relationships
      3. 1.3. Rules of Relationship
        1. 1.3.1. Respect, Friendliness, and Liking
        2. 1.3.2. Fairness
        3. 1.3.3. Honest, Open, and Positive Communication
        4. 1.3.4. Care and Concern
        5. 1.3.5. Empathy and Understanding
        6. 1.3.6. Collaborative Efforts Toward Mutual Success
        7. 1.3.7. Reciprocity
        8. 1.3.8. Open-Mindedness and Adaptability
        9. 1.3.9. Commitment
        10. 1.3.10. Dependability
      4. 1.4. Why Go to All This Trouble?
    2. 2. EVEN MONKEYS DEMAND FAIRNESS
      1. 2.1. What Is Fairness?
      2. 2.2. Process Fairness
      3. 2.3. Equity
      4. 2.4. Conclusion
    3. 3. THE POWER OF US
      1. 3.1. Increasing Understanding
      2. 3.2. Building Trust
      3. 3.3. Maximizing Value
      4. 3.4. Reducing Resistance and Gaining Acceptance
      5. 3.5. Looking Beyond the Deal
  5. 2. THE MIND OF THE NEGOTIATOR
    1. 4. THE FOUR PILLARS OF RELATIONSHIP NEGOTIATION
      1. 4.1. The Four Pillars
        1. 4.1.1. First Pillar: Build a Productive Relationship
        2. 4.1.2. Second Pillar: Pursue Outcomes, Not Points
        3. 4.1.3. Third Pillar: Search for Solutions, Not Victory
      2. 4.2. Fourth Pillar: Focus on Fairness
    2. 5. DON'T FEED THE BEARS!
      1. 5.1. Lesson One: Feeding Bears Is Self-Destructive
      2. 5.2. Lesson Two: Bear-Feeding Damages the Relationship on Both Sides
      3. 5.3. Lesson Three: Feeding Bears Creates Bigger Bears
      4. 5.4. How to Handle Bears
      5. 5.5. Handling Grizzly Bears
      6. 5.6. Watch Out for Honey Bears
      7. 5.7. Conclusion
    3. 6. BE PREPARED
      1. 6.1. Understanding
      2. 6.2. Anticipating
      3. 6.3. Connecting
  6. 3. FIVE STEPS TO SUCCESS
    1. 7. GOALS-WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
      1. 7.1. The First Step
      2. 7.2. Goals Give Clarity
        1. 7.2.1. Splitting the Difference
        2. 7.2.2. Forcing and Appeasing
        3. 7.2.3. Missing the Forest for the Trees
        4. 7.2.4. The Winning Approach
      3. 7.3. Why Do You Want This?
      4. 7.4. What Do You Really Want?
      5. 7.5. Three Types of Goals
        1. 7.5.1. Needs
        2. 7.5.2. Desires
        3. 7.5.3. Aspirations
      6. 7.6. What Do They Really Want?
      7. 7.7. Hotel Rate Case Study
      8. 7.8. Conclusion
    2. 8. ROUTES — HOW TO GET THERE
      1. 8.1. Get More of What You Want by Helping Others Get What They Want
      2. 8.2. Trading Off Beats Marking Down
      3. 8.3. Always Seek to Expand the Pie
      4. 8.4. Planning and Presenting Routes
      5. 8.5. Hotel Rate Case Study
      6. 8.6. Conclusion
    3. 9. ARGUMENTS — MAKING YOUR CASE
      1. 9.1. Arguments Show Respect
      2. 9.2. The Power of "Because"
      3. 9.3. Arguments Build Trust
      4. 9.4. What Are Acceptable Arguments?
      5. 9.5. Eliciting and Challenging Arguments
      6. 9.6. Hotel Rate Case Study
      7. 9.7. Conclusion
    4. 10. SUBSTITUTES — THE BACKUP PLAN
      1. 10.1. Knowing Your Walk-Away Line
      2. 10.2. Building a WAL
      3. 10.3. How to Reveal a Substitute
      4. 10.4. What If You Have No Substitute?
      5. 10.5. Remember That Both Sides Have Substitutes
      6. 10.6. Hotel Rate Case Study
      7. 10.7. Conclusion
    5. 11. PERSUASION — WINNING THEM OVER
      1. 11.1. What's in It for Them
      2. 11.2. Be Positive
        1. 11.2.1. Point Out Gains Rather Than Losses
        2. 11.2.2. Rephrase Affirmatively
        3. 11.2.3. Reject Intimidating Language
      3. 11.3. Stop Talking and Start Listening
      4. 11.4. Adapt to Their Communication Style
      5. 11.5. Hotel Rate Case Study
      6. 11.6. Conclusion
  7. 4. CONCLUSION
    1. 12. YOU CAN NEGOTIATE!
    2. A. GRASP NEGOTIATION PLANNER
    3. B. POST-NEGOTIATION EVALUATION
    4. Notes
      1. B.1. Introduction
      2. B.2. Chapter One
      3. B.3. Chapter Two
      4. B.4. Chapter Three
      5. B.5. Chapter Four
      6. B.6. Chapter Five
      7. B.7. Chapter Nine
      8. B.8. Chapter Eleven
    5. Acknowledgments
    6. About the Author