You are previewing A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens.
O'Reilly logo
A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens

Book Description

Turn back the clocks! Your sweet child has morphed into a teen. And it's no longer just a messy bedroom or an attitude with a capital "A" causing concern. There's a whole new range of issues on the horizon. What if your daughter texts a naked picture to a "boyfriend"...which he then forwards to the entire class? What if your son becomes increasingly withdrawn...Or your child is being bullied online? Would you know what to do? You could read a whole book on teen psychology--but who has the time! As a parent, what you need most is quick and candid advice for dealing with the issue at hand. After all, if you say the right thing you will open up the lines of communication, but say the wrong thing...and WATCH OUT. A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens is the solution. Covering a broad range of issues from the terrifying (sex, drinking, drugs, depression) to the frustrating (defiance, laziness, conformity, entitlement), parenting expert Joani Geltman approaches each of the 80 topics with honesty and a dash of humor. Want to understand why teens do what they do? Joani reveals what they are thinking and feeling--and what developmental factors are involved. She then explains how to approach each problem in a way that lets your kid know you "get it" and leads to truly productive conversations. From lying to sexting to falling grades, the teenage years can be an uphill battle. Here is the no-nonsense guide you need to get your teen talking, listening, and back on track.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Contents
  5. Foreword
  6. Acknowledgments
  7. Introduction
  8. Part One: Just Tell Me what to do about…Raising a Teen
    1. 1 - Deflection and Denial: Your Teen's Main Defense Mechanisms
    2. 2 - My Teenage Clone: The Power of Conformity
    3. 3 - Getting your Teen Up in the Morning: Strategies for Eliminating the Daily Fight from the Morning Routine
    4. 4 - You can't Always Get what you Want: The Demanding and Entitled Teen
    5. 5 - Too Much Time on their Hands: The Busier the Teen, the More Motivated
    6. 6 - The Power of Puberty: Changing Body, Changing Brain
    7. 7 - L is for Lazy: Getting your Teens to do what you Want them to Do
    8. 8 - Trust vs. Temptation: How to Help a Sneaky Teen
    9. 9 - Lies of Omission: “Oh. I didn't Think I had to Tell you That”
    10. 10 - Why don't Boys Talk? A Different Kind of Silent Treatment
    11. 11 - My Kid the Quitter: Why won't My Teen Stick with Anything?
    12. 12 - The Parent-Teen Power Struggle: You can't Make Me
    13. 13 - Helping your Teen with Remembering: You Forgot your __________ Again?
    14. 14 - Teen Self-Absorption: My Teen the Narcissist
    15. 15 - My Teen the Pit Bull: Never Takes No for an Answer
    16. 16 - The Teen who Talks Back: The Kid's Got Attitude
    17. 17 - The Messy Room: To Clean or not to Clean
  9. Part Two: Just Tell Me what to do about…Keeping My Teen Motivated and Engaged in School
    1. 18 - Why can't My Teen do Better? How to Assess Achievement
    2. 19 - Studying and Learning vs. Texting and Facebook: Strategies for Time Management
    3. 20 - The Plight of the Homework Avoider: It's not Just Laziness
    4. 21 - The Drama of Exams: A Strategy for Success
    5. 22 - The Report Card: A Call to Action
    6. 23 - Summer Reading: Thank you Teachers, for Ruining My Last Few Weeks of Summer
  10. Part Three: Just Tell Me what to do about…Navigating the College Process
    1. 24 - Senioritis-Parentitis: Surviving the Application Process and Tips for Successful College Visits
    2. 25 - Eenie, Meenie, Miney Mo, to which College should I Go? A Roadmap for Decision Making
    3. 26 - What to Expect from your High School Graduating Senior: Letting Go
    4. 27 - What to Expect from your College Students when they Return Home
  11. Part Four: Just Tell Me what to do about…Helping My Teen Avoid the Friendship Traps
    1. 28 - The Bully Pulpit: Strategies to Ward Off a Bully
    2. 29 - Loyalty in Teens can be Harmful to their Health: Penn State, a Case Study
    3. 30 - The Agony of a Ninth-Grade Boy: What it Feels Like to be the Youngest Boy in the School
    4. 31 - Teens who Feel Left Out: “Why don't they Ever Call Me?”
    5. 32 - The Bad Seed Friend: What to do about the Friend you Wish your Teen didn't Have
  12. Part Five: Just Tell Me what to do about…Drinking and Drugs
    1. 33 - Getting to know your Teen's Drinking Personality: What Motivates your Teen to Drink or do Drugs?
    2. 34 - Keeping your Teens Safe If or When they Choose to Drink: A Successful Strategy
    3. 35 - The Consequences of Teens Drinking in your Home: It's Always your Responsibility to Keep Teens Safe
    4. 36 - What Happens when Teens are Left Unsupervised: A Room-for-Improvement Parenting Story
    5. 37 - A Chilling Drinking Story: Alcohol and Date Rape
    6. 38 - Dope, Weed, Pot, Grass, Cannabis, Marijuana, Hemp: They All Spell Trouble
    7. 39 - Teen-Proofing your Home for Alcohol and Drug Safety: Looking at your Home through a New Lens
    8. 40 - Party Planning with your Teen: Commonsense Rules
  13. Part Six: Just Tell Me what to do about…Understanding and Dealing with My Teen's Sex Life
    1. 41 - Talking to your Teen about Sex
    2. 42 - Boy wants Sex, Girl Likes Boy: Helping your Daughter Say No
    3. 43 - Spin the Bottle and Other Sexual Situations: Strategies for Good Decision Making
    4. 44 - Keeping your Teen Dressing Like a Teen: Sexy and the Teenage Girl
    5. 45 - Finding your Teen between the Sheets: Love in the Afternoon
    6. 46 - Is your Teen Gay/Lesbian? Discussions on Sexuality
  14. Part Seven: Just Tell Me what to do about…Online and Phone Sexting
    1. 47 - The Consequences of Sexting: A “Weinergate” Moment
    2. 48 - A Teenage Girl's Painful Lesson: A Private Photo goes Public
    3. 49 - Sexual Harassment: Sending Sexy Photos is not Always a Choice
    4. 50 - Skyping, Sexting, and Exotic Dancing: The Allure of a Live Audience
    5. 51 - The Legal Consequences of Sexting: My Son, the Sex Offender
  15. Part Eight: Just Tell Me what to do about…Cellphones and Smartphones
    1. 52 - Cellphone/Smartphone Monitoring: Should I or shouldn't I?
    2. 53 - Dealing with your Teen's Cellphone Addiction
    3. 54 - Does My Teen Text too Much? If so what can I do about It?
    4. 55 - Driving Distracted: Don't Let their Fingers do the Talking when they're Driving
    5. 56 - Teens Losing Sleep: Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Texting
    6. 57 - Should I Buy My Teen a Smartphone?
    7. 58 - A Scary Story: The Misuse of Smartphones
  16. Part Nine: Just Tell Me what to do about…Social Networking Sites and Applications
    1. 59 - Teaching your Teen Safe Posting: The Too-Much-Information Dilemma
    2. 60 - A “Friending” Intervention: Teaching your Teen how to “Make Friends” on Social Networking Sites
    3. 61 - To Give or not to Give: My Parents, My Passwords
    4. 62 - Facebook + Alcohol Posts = Problem Drinkers
    5. 63 - Icky New Social Networking Sites…Beware!
    6. 64 - Facebook Posts that could Put your Teen in Jail: Threats that are Taken Seriously
    7. 65 - Social Networking and the Stolen Identity: Keeping your Teens Safe from Other Teens
    8. 66 - I'll Give you My Password If you Give Me Yours: Going Steady in the 21st Century
    9. 67 - Cleaning Up Facebook and Twitter Posts: Preparing your Teen for the Real World of Jobs and College
    10. 68 - Online Bullying: Being Made Fun of can Really Hurt
  17. Part Ten: Just Tell Me what to do about…My Parenting Style
    1. 69 - Four Ways of Fighting: A Roadmap for Effective Arguing
    2. 70 - Puh-leez…No Lecture
    3. 71 - Playing the Game of Curfew: “Please can I? Everybody Else Is”
    4. 72 - Ask Less, Get More: Stop the Interrogation
    5. 73 - Too Much Love can be a Bad Thing: Holding your Teen Accountable
    6. 74 - Too Much, Too Soon: Understanding Age-Appropriate Privileges
    7. 75 - “So What, Who Cares?” Making Consequences Mean Something
    8. 76 - Teaching your Teen about Money Management: Curbing the Teen Money Pit
    9. 77 - I Just don't Fit into this Family Anymore: Helping your Teen to Feel Connected
    10. 78 - Successful Rule Making: Sharing the Control
    11. 79 - Good Cop–Bad Cop: A Parenting Dilemma
    12. 80 - Finding the Bliss with your Teen: Treasuring the Time
  18. Index
  19. About the Author
  20. Free Sample Chapter from Success under Stress