by Robert Maurer and Michelle Gifford
On a daily basis we are called on to help others. We do this as parents, spouses, and friends; and we do this in the workplace, as employees, colleagues, and managers. But how often do we consciously and skillfully pull from our toolbox the right strategy for guiding, motivating, and inspiring another person? And, if our first efforts fail, how creative are we in finding another strategy? Collaboration, coaching, and mentoring are certainly rewarding when done well, but they can be both painful and ineffective when done poorly.
Imagine that you are preparing to talk with a colleague, employee, or a family member. Your goal is to help them improve their current situation, performance, or life. What is your approach? How do you decide what strategy to use? Or, do you think in terms of strategy at all? If one approach isn’t working, do you have a plan B or C ready? When I interview executives who are required to give feedback to employees, I ask them to list their strategies for this challenging task. They often say, hesitantly, “I just tell it like it is…” or “I give it to them straight.” I then inquire, “So, how well is that working?” The answer, usually accompanied by an uncomfortable smile, is “sometimes.” And sometimes, direct feedback – no matter how painful it is to give or receive – is the right response. But not always.
To achieve strong collaboration, different situations call for varying types of feedback and support. For those situations where a more strategic approach is called for, allow me to provide you with a “gourmet guide” of support that will help you to provide assistance and motivate others at work and at home. For those times when you are the one in need of support, you can also use this menu to help identify what you might need from others.
There are seven strategies that are especially useful and are easily recalled using the mnemonic of INSPIRE. The word is a fitting, since inspire means “to take in.” When you are providing feedback or support, you want the other person to take in and be inspired by what you have to say. Read more »