Cover image for The Social Styles Handbook, Revised Edition, 1st Edition

Book description

Everyone has a preferred Social Style: Driver, Expressive, Amiable or Analytical. Learn your style and spot the styles of others. Match theirs to build trust and influence quickly.

Table of Contents

  1. The Social Styles Handbook: Adapt Your Style to Win Trust
  2. Foreword
  3. I. Section 1 The Case for Communication
    1. 1. Introduction
      1. Words Aren’t the Key
      2. Social Styles, Versatility and Success
      3. Summary
    2. 2. Mindset Matters
      1. A Warm-Up Exercise
        1. The Exercise
        2. The Point of the Exercise
      2. Essential Mindsets
        1. Mindset #1: Look for the signals and respond correctly
        2. Mindset #2: Be prepared to act in ways that don’t feel comfortable
        3. Mindset #3: You can’t change your own style, but you can adapt your behavior
        4. Mindset #4: Diversity is enriching, but requires understanding
      3. Summary
  4. II. Section 2 Dimensions of Social Styles
    1. 3. A New View of Behavior
      1. Two Critical Assumptions
        1. Social Style focuses only on observable behavior
        2. Perception is reality
      2. Summary
    2. 4. Assertiveness and Responsiveness – The Measures of Behavior
      1. Assertiveness and Responsiveness
        1. Assertiveness – the measure of influencing
        2. Responsiveness – the measure of expressing
        3. Assertiveness and Responsiveness – the basis for the Social Style matrix
      2. Summary
    3. 5. Versatility – Adapting Your Style
      1. Versatility in Action
      2. Comfort Zones – Yours and Theirs
      3. Summary
    4. 6. Task and Relationship Tension – Productive or Unproductive?
      1. Task Tension
      2. Relationship Tension
      3. Rising and Falling Tension
      4. Moving from Relationship to Task Tension
      5. Summary
    5. 7. Comfort – The Key to Trust and Confidence
      1. Comfort Opens the Way to Trust
      2. The Effects of Discomfort
      3. The Payoffs for Making Others Comfortable
      4. The Requirements for Comfort
      5. Summary
    6. 8. Habit – Getting Beyond Comfort and Custom in Communication
      1. Comfort Zones and Habits
      2. Adapting – Better than Just Reacting
      3. Style Modification
      4. Summary
    7. 9. Generalizing and Judging – Pros and Cons
      1. When Generalizations and Judgments Make Sense
      2. Behavior, Feeling, and Thinking
      3. Summary
    8. 10. Back-Up Behavior – Fight or Flight
      1. Fight or Flight Tendencies
      2. Back-Up Recovery Strategies – LSCPA
        1. Listen
        2. Share
        3. Clarify
        4. Problem-Solve
        5. Ask for Action
      3. Adapting LSCPA to Fight or Flight Behavior
      4. Summary
    9. 11. Building Relationships – Entry, Dialogue and Closure
      1. Entry
        1. Purpose, Process and Payoff (PPP) Statements
        2. Credibility
      2. Dialogue
        1. Listening
        2. Exploring
        3. Integrating
      3. Closure
        1. Affirming the agreement
        2. Supporting the decision
        3. Enhancing the relationship
      4. Building Trust
      5. Summary
    10. 12. The Social Style Self-Profiler
  5. III. Section 3 Social Styles in Depth
    1. 13. Living and Working with Analyticals
      1. Analytical Expectations
      2. Entry with Analyticals
      3. Dialogue with Analyticals
      4. Closure with Analyticals
        1. Affirming
        2. Supporting
        3. Enhancing
      5. Adapting Your Style for Analyticals
      6. Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Analyticals
      7. If You Are an Analytical
      8. Summary
    2. 14. Living and Working with Drivers
      1. Driver Expectations
      2. Entry with Drivers
      3. Dialogue with Drivers
      4. Closure with Drivers
        1. Affirming
        2. Supporting
        3. Enhancing
      5. Adapting Your Style for Drivers
      6. Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Drivers
      7. If You Are a Driver
      8. Summary
    3. 15. Living and Working with Amiables
      1. Amiable Expectations
      2. Entry with Amiables
      3. Dialogue with Amiables
      4. Closure with Amiables
        1. Affirming
        2. Supporting
        3. Enhancing
      5. Adapting Your Style for Amiables
      6. Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Amiables
      7. If You Are an Amiable
      8. Summary
    4. 16. Living and Working with Expressives
      1. Expressive Expectations
      2. Entry with Expressives
      3. Dialogue with Expressives
      4. Closure with Expressives
        1. Affirming
        2. Supporting
        3. Enhancing
      5. Adapting Your Style for Expressives
      6. Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Expressives
      7. If You Are an Expressive
      8. Summary
  6. IV. Section 4 Lessons from Social Styles Experts
    1. 17. Speeding Up the Learning Curve
      1. Take It Slowly
      2. Don’t Jump to Conclusions
      3. Stay Away From Stereotypes
      4. Be Realistic About the Power of Social Styles
      5. Be Aware of Styles Within Styles
      6. Accept People’s Behavior as a Sign of Their Comfort Zones and Nothing More
      7. Observe One Dimension of Behavior – Assertiveness or Responsiveness – At a Time
      8. Observe Verbal and Nonverbal Behaviors – and Be Objective
      9. Start Assessing Styles Even Before Your First Meeting
      10. Use Introductions as Early Indications of Style
      11. Focus on Making Only Minor Modifications in Your Behavior
      12. Live By the Platinum Rule
      13. Value Diversity
      14. Selling is Easier with Social Styles in Mind
      15. Recognize When You Are the One in Back-Up
      16. Don’t Expect Reciprocity
      17. Consistency and Integrity Matter Most
      18. Don’t Try to Be Someone Else
  7. A. How to Adapt your Behavior for Ask-, Tell-, Task-, and People-Directed Styles
  8. B. Resources
    1. If You Would Like to Learn More About Social Style Skills
    2. If You’d Like to Learn More About Versatile Selling Skills
    3. If You’d Like to Learn More About Counselor Selling Skills
  9. C. Contributors
    1. About the Authors
    2. About the Project Development Team
  10. Index
  11. Copyright